I'm slowly losing the will to live?

i have been living on my own for 12 years with my pet cat i get so lonely don't have any friends apart from people i work with and they come and go with the low pay dead end job i do the place where i work i get treated very badly and always being used as a scape goat by the manager because i don't do her job for her and i can't complain to any body higher up because i'am the one that gets into trouble if i do ive looked else where but get turned down due to this recession when i was younger i was fostered until 18 years old i don't know my real family i sometimes see my foster parents when i go there its ok but i seem to be the one putting the effort in they never call me or to see if i'am ok over the years its getting me very depressed watching people who i know are younger than me overtake me in life i sometimes tell myself how long is this going to last i get suicidal thoughts in my head and see it as a way out to a better place and tend think about religion / jesus i have even made a hanging knot and keep it in my bedroom ready for that day is there a way i can get out of this situation and find strength with out seeing someone